LOST UPDATE


So a lot has happened on LOST this season! At first I was going to do a basic rundown on episodes and I realized that was a fool's errand so now I've decided that I would just write letters to the power players of the season!

Here we go!

JACK


Dear Jack:
What the Hell!?!? We were totally with you until you decided to sell the entire camp out so that you could go home! I personally thought it was hilarious that Locke "blew up" your ride! Now that you are back in camp and all hugged up with your new ho Juliet, all you do is walk around and act all creepy and secretive. I thought you were hot! You're not hot! What an a-hole! I hope you read this and redeem yourself or we are totally breaking up!
love
J

KATE



Girl!!!
You have really made a mess of things this time, didn't you girl? First off you NEVER FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!!!! You know Jack told you to run away from the others AND NOT COME BACK! What did you do? Ran right back and screwed things up! You done slept with Sawyer!!!! For the record: I would not be surprised if you are pregnant. Oh Yeah! What about this whole "We don't trust Jack so Kate don't tell him about the weird lady that fell from the sky!" What did you do? Ran off and told Jack about her! I am sooooo disappointed in you girl!

I'll write again (in about 9 months).
good luck!
J

SAWYER


Dear Sawyer:

You are a big ole' MESS!!! You have proven yourself to be the island princess this season!

LYLAS
J

PS I think Kate's pregnant!

SUN AND JIN


To SUN:

You gonna die girl! That's what you get for being secretly devious! You let your man think you were a little angel when in fact you are the cause of most of his problems! You are soooo wrong for that! It's a good thing I like you! If I didn't I would totally call the smoke monster on you!

To Jin:

Just a quick note to let you know:
1 your mom was a ho
2 your wife is a ho
3 your body is slammin' so I hope you make it off the island alive!

J

CHARLIE


Dear Charlie:

Second Hobbit to the left always dies!!! Bye Bye Bitch!!!

forever yours
J

LOCKE



Dear Locke:

You are such an effing TOOL!!! All you do is blow shit up and get other people to do your dirty work! What a lame ass. I'm glad you joined the others! Good riddance you big freak! Oh! By the way I bet you anything the others are laughing at you behind your back! Once a looser, always a looser!

J

BEN LINUS

Ben:

If I had a tumor I'd name it Ben Linus.
If Jack removed it I would deliberately grow another one so I could name it Ben Linus II. Could you please just answer a question without turning it into some weird-ass riddle. I adore you but I hate you!

Have a great summer break!
J

DESMOND

Des:

I thought you were annoying in the beginning but now I realize you were just hot and I didn't see it. Time travel always equals HOT. Saving lives....totally hot!
Des, you are the new poo on this island! Jack should just take a big whiff!!!

JULIET



Dearest Juliet:

You are the best thing that has happened to LOST in a long frakkin' time! You are my favorite character and I hope I get to see you kick some more Kate ass! You are a rare combo of beauty, brains and bad ass! I hope the camp doesn't kill you when they find out you have been spying on them for Ben! Just kill his sorry ass girl! You can do it!

All my best
J


HURLEY



You aren't really a power player this season but you did find a van full of beer! Awesome!

J

Where The Hell Have I Been!?!?


I can't believe I haven't written a post since Anna Nicole passed away! What the Hell!? Well I can assure you that I have not been in great mourning over her. I have not been kidnapped by "the others" and I have not been in an accident that destroyed my short term memory. I've actually been really (really) busy. Once again I accepted a few too many jobs and got a little backed up. In the long run things are good with me and now that I have some time on my hands I am back in the blogging saddle.

You will be glad to know that I have still managed to see my favorite television shows! Yay! The next few posts will be all about me talking about them! That should be fun!

First up:
(Click photos to enlarge)

America's Next Top Model
cycle 8


Well what a strange cycle this has been! For the first time in a while the catch up episode was helpful!

We found out that Rene isn't the evil bitch we thought she was in the beginning. Sometimes Mommies can stick it through to the end (hopefully).


We found out Jael just wanted to "spread light" and "touch the grass and the animals and climb the trees". (I want some of whatever she's on.)

Natasha is turning out to be my favorite going into the final four! She has tried the hardest of any girl in any cycle to give the judges what they want.


"Fat" girls should not try to be models because Tyra hates them and she KILLS THEM and eats them all!!!!


Last (but not least) Britney has soul cancer (HEY ANTPodcast!) and it obviously caused her to get hit by a car when she was in high school which caused her to loose her short term memory which is obviously the reason she can't perform the tasks that are required for her to be America's Next Top Model--and that is SOOOO not her fault. (sniff, sniff). Dear Brit: Top models must have excellent short term memory and their soul cancer can't be malignant. DUH.

It's been a long time since I've been able to say this:

BYE BYE BITCH!!!!

and congratulations to the final four:
Natasha, Rene, Dionne and Jaslene


Next post:

LOST and Ugly Betty