AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
Bye Bye Bitch!!! pt6



What the Hell is going on!?! They chose to eliminate Brooke over Jaeda (or as Amy from ANTpodcast calls her: Masculinda)!!! I don't get it. Masculinda's Tyra shot was good but her Fabio shot sucked some nasty ass! I'm getting ahead of myself...let's just start from the beginning...

We find out that Brooke has missed her Prom to be on the show and now she will be missing her high school graduation. Her mama sent her a tacky gift box full of cheezy graduation crap as a consolation prize. I don't know about all of you but I was happy to skip out on graduation. Brooke: You're not missing anything! The cheezy stuff in the box was a really sweet gesture so props to Brooke's mom!



This week the girls learned how to be sexy. But first Tyra showed up at the house and did her annual photo shoot. For those of you that don't know: Each season Tyra takes the girls and pretends to be a photographer. Her shots are always really nice. They are usually "edgy" black and white beauty shots of the girls. She usually smears Vaseline on them or makes them cry. This time she put these wicked eye contacts on them and had them be all harpie-esque.
Some of the girls rocked. My personal favorites were Eugena, Caridee, Michelle and Amanda.



So back to the sexy! The girls were trained by a drag queen and a burlesque queen in the art of tasteful sexiness. I found most of the girls to just be awkward or slutty. Smellrose kind of rocked the casba once again. Later the girls had to do a table dance/ runway show at this dinner for important fashion people. They felt Smellrose did the best job so she got to do a photo shoot for Seventeen Magazine. She chose Brooke and the twins to go with her and they all got to be photographed.



The photo shoot was all about romance covers! The girls were supposed to be the heroines of the cover and the Hero was going to be...you guessed it...Fabio! Did anyone notice that Fabio is straight up looking old now? It was pretty funny. Most of the girls did ok (except for Eugena, Michelle and Masculinda). I wanted to bust Masculinda in the face most of the evening.



I would like to take a moment to tell you how Mr Jay is the most annoying person ever. Who the Hell does he think he is? I liked him much better when he was just the make up artist on the show. I find his behavior on set to be immature and (frankly) he seems a little learning disabled! His hair has gone way beyond bleached blond...it's so blond it looks blue. Jay: Please stop using a blue or violet toner in your hair! It looks really retarded. You are beginning to look like that creepy next door neighbor lady from Something About Mary!



By the way: Nigel Barker is effing HOT (at any age)!



This panel is one of the most bitchy of the series in my opinion. Masculinda wasn't in the bottom two (first mistake) and when it came down to Brooke vs Michelle, well you just knew Brooke was done for. I felt bad for her. I knew she would never actually win the competition, but she deserved to stay longer than Masculinda.

Now on to the fun stuff:

I wish The CW had posted Tyra's photos, but they didn't. The best photo should be one of those. I guess I'll just make due with what I have. I will have to just judge based on the Fabio shoot.

America's Cover Girl of the Week

Caridee

Caridee finally won this and I think she deserves it. She is probably the most likable person on the show. I wouldn't be surprised if she wins next week too!

Best Photo

Caridee

I'm giving this to her because of her Tyra shot. It was fantastic! This Fabio shot was nice and different from everything she has done till now. If I find the Tyra shot I will replace it (or maybe add it).

Most Improved

Amanda

I think she may end up passing her sister by! This is the second week in a row that Amanda's name was called before Michelle's...the tide may be changing!

Annoying Bitch of the Week

Masculinda


Dear Masculinda:

I can't stand you. Your man shoulders make me barf, but they are nothing compared to your attitude. You need to realize that bitching about your hair is annoying. What's done is done. Move the Hell on...and off my TV.

BFF LYLAS

xoxo
BishopJ

Austrailia's Next Top Model?

(click on bold orange words for links)

So I was visiting wikipedia and I discovered that Tyra Banks has franchised America's Next Top Model. Heidi Klum even hosts one version in Germany! I checked a few of them out and I thought I would give you a little sample of my favorite (so far): Australia's Next Top Model! It's in seven parts, but you can probably watch them at different times...

Cycle 2 Episode 1
(boot camp)

Special thanks to AusNTM for uploading on YouTube

MY FAVORITE LOST EPISODES



I thought since I had done a series of favorite Buffy episodes I would choose a few of my favorites from LOST. If you have never seen the show before I suggest you start watching now! Why? Because it’s fun! If you are sort of feeling lazy then check out one of my favorites. I promise you that you will develop a wonderful addiction. So…I'm gonna start with Season One!

SEASON ONE

The Pilot (pt 1 and 2)


This is where it all started! It originally aired as a two-hour beginner movie. It was awesome! I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like this show before (but I have seen plenty of rip-off shows since).

All the Best Cowboys have Daddy Issues



Claire has been kidnapped and the other survivors try to find her. Boone and Locke find a mysterious thing embedded in the earth. Michael still has issues with Walt and Locke’s
relationship. I enjoyed this episode so much. You really get a sense of urgency in this episode. I really like the episode before this one too. It is called Raised by Another.


“…in translation.”



I t was really hard for me to pick out a Sun and Jin episode because we have a few in the first season. In this one Sun must reveal a secret to save her husband who is suspected of burning down the raft Micheal has been building.

Numbers



I love Hurley. In this episode we find out who Hurley was in the outside world. Back on the island Hurley goes on a desperate search for the French woman and Locke asks Claire to help him build something.


Do No Harm



Boone has been seriously injured trying to help Locke out and now Jack must try to save him. While all that excitement is going on Claire finally goes into labor. This is a Jack flashback episode.



Exodus (pt 1 and 2)



This was another episode that was run as a two hour long movie. I remember being so excited about seeing this one. It was pure torture waiting all summer to find out what happened next. We really got the best bits in this season finale.

MARIE ANTOINETTE

It is no secret that I love Sophia Coppola. I thought The Virgin Suicides rocked and Lost in Translation...just a modern masterpiece. I think she should be proud to be the only American woman to be nominated for an Academy Award in directing (not to mention the third woman to be nominated period). She is innovative and smart. She is style in my opinion.



Marie Antoinette is Sophia Coppola's first step into the world of costume drama. Being a costume designer myself, I was super excited about having my favorite director and one of my favorite costume periods all in one dose. Needless to say I wasn't disappointed.



If you are expecting this movie to be an historical drama you should just not bother seeing it. It isn't that at all. It is a very modern interpretation of a well known historical figure/period. It has the fabulous costumes and lavish scenery but at the center is a very young king and queen who Sophia reminds us were entirely too inexperienced to be running a country. The way Coppola keeps us removed from the emotional aspects of the film makes us able to look at the situation with open eyes. Marie Antoinette was not a monster...she was a teen aged girl who simply didn't know any better. To Coppola she was sheltered and desperate to please the people around her. She was the sort of victim of circumstance that will end up driving some audience member crazy and make others feel deep pity.



SPOILERS BELOW
(but if you took any kind of world history class you know the outcome of the story)
***click pix for larger views***



We start the film in Austria. Marie is being shipped off at fourteen to become the future queen of France. She has no idea that her life will be talked about for ages after her death. She seems to be a typical rich fourteen year old girl that is more concerned with gossiping with her girlfriends and playing with her puppy (Mops) than anything political. She doesn't seem to realize that her life is hers to live. She basically does as she is told and never questions anyone.



When she arrives at the Austrian/French border she is handed off to the French who must strip her of everything Austrian. This means clothes, friends and to our horror, Mops. This is the last sentimental moment of the film. This is the last time we are allowed to become emotionally involved with Marie as a person. This is the moment she starts to become a public figure and Coppola very carefully makes sure we feel like voyeurs for the rest of the film. I love this move. It is a ballsy move for her to make, but I think it really payed off.



She arrives at Versailles and is immediately thrust into a bizarro world of French aristocracy. She sort of wanders around in a daze for a good portion of the beginning of the film. This girl can't even dress without an audience! She eventually realizes that the entire country is expecting her to produce an heir to the throne. The problem is that her husband is just as young as she is but doesn't have her natural adaptability. Producing an heir becomes a serious problem that isn't solved until years after they begin sharing a bed. The interesting thing is the relationship they develop. I don't know if they were ever in love, but I do suspect that they had a great admiration for each other and they were the best of friends.



I was concerned when I found out that Kirsten Dunst and Jason Schwartzman were cast as the eventual King and Queen. During the course of the film I came to understand and appreciate the casting. Dunst is quite affective as Marie. She is never allowed to play into histrionics. Coppola hasn't cast this piece to showcase actors. She seems to be much more interested in the over all effect of the "big picture". This benefits us because this film doesn't have the best dialogue. Thankfully we have very little because Coppola chooses to tell most of the story through non verbal communication. It make the film much more intriguing. Schwartzman is touching as the misfit King. I believe if he were a modern teenager, he would be the geeky guy that doesn't wash his hair and plays Warcraft with his friends online. He is a complete dork and he doesn't want to be anything else. Marie would be the popular girl that doesn't seem to realize there is any other reality than her own. She's not really selfish...just sort of clueless.



Marie soon realizes that she can have anything that money can buy and she loves it! The scenes of her and her two best friends shopping are some of the most exciting in the film. Be on the look out for a pair of Converse in the shoe shopping scene!



As time goes by and the young couple take the throne we begin to see that they really have no clue that their world is about to crumble around them. One of my favorite sections of the film is when the King presents Marie with a country home. The whole section is filmed in a very seventies hazy summer look. It's all blond girls frolicking in meadows. They think they are living a "simple life". Marie and her little girl don't realize the servants are cleaning the poop off the eggs before they come to collect them from the pretty nests. That pretty much sums up her character (and life) right there.



Eventually the French Revolution happens and Marie and the King are forced out of their home. I appreciate the fact that Coppola doesn't show us their fates. At first I felt a little cheated but now that I've had time to reflect, I really believe it was the best move. It is much more disconcerting for the story to just stop. Sort of like loosing your life suddenly and seemingly without warning.



Lets talk about the music for a minute. This soundtrack effing rocks! It is a blend of period and 1980's punk/pop. I thought it would be weird, but it wasn't at all. It was hip and sexy and created an environment that was very alluring. This strange mix in music also helped us accept that there were a zillion accents in this film and very few were french! One of the best parts of the film is a masquerade ball the future King and Queen sneak out of Versailles after hours to go too. There is a dance scene that is so sharply contrasting to their wedding dance that it is hard to believe they were in the same film. The wedding is a very period minuet. Everything looks like the inside of a music box! The ball is rocking with 1980's tunes. It managed to create an atmosphere that was extremely erotic without ever being overtly sexual. You can really tell why the rich were having so much fun! It would be very easy to be seduced by that kind of living!


There are many more things I could tell you about this film but I'm gonna close this one out! I highly recommend that you see this film. It is refreshing to see a director who is unafraid of taking great risks. Sophia Coppola is the true star of this film. Sit back, relax and prepared to be transported to a world you will never forget!

Teaser Trailer:



Full Preview:



Click Poster to go to Bad Ass Website:

SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS
Bye Bye Bitches!!! pt. 6 and 6b



In an interesting turn of events a member from each of the two tribes was voted off the island. For Aitu (in a vote of 6 to 8) Cao Boi was voted off. I'm sort of glad because I always have a bad problem spelling his name. For Raro, in a vote of 4 to 2, Christina was voted off. I suck at predicting what is going to happen in this show, but I did call those evictions.



There was great annoyance after the last eviction at Raro. Christina's feelings were hurt and she let them know it too. It was pretty funny though because nobody really cared. Adam was the only one that told her how annoyed he was with her so I give him points this week for not being a pussy.



Back at Aitu Cao Boi went on some sort of vision quest. He said he had some weird dream that is all about credit cards and well, I don't even know! This dream then inspired him to come up with the VooDoo plan. This is basically the same plan I described last week. The only difference is that he thought Jonathan had the immunity idol and he was pitching the plan to Yul (who really had the idol). If you'd like to read about the plan click on Cao Boi's photo above.



There was only one competition. The teams had to choose three players each to hold on to these big wooden poles. Two members of the opposing tribes had to get the three people off the poles (one at a time) and drag them to a finish line. Becky and Jessica of Aitu were animals. They snatched the Raro bitches up like they were their mamas!



My other favorite moment of the competition was when Ozzy got his ass spanked by Adam and Brad. They ripped his ass off that pole so fast it was just funny! Ozzie may be an otter in the water but he's Queen Brad's little bitch in the sand!



Aitu won the competition and also won the right to have a lamb shank "feast" while they got to watch Raro vote off another member at tribal council. They also got to pick a person from Raro to eat with them, thus saving the player from tribal council. So they vote off Cao Boi (after blatantly lying to him) and then go to eat their nasty lamb shank feast. It was so gross because it was all in one single bowl. Ewww.



Raro was pretty predictable. Yet again they voted off the person they didn't like! Surprise! Christina was voted off and Nate was asked to join Aitu for the evening. He will be playing with Aitu for reward but will then go back to Raro for the immunity challenge.

more next week!

Sometimes the truth just has to be told...

LOST

Further Instructions



I'm loving Lost this season! This episode is my favorite so far. Of course there have only been three so it's not hard to be the favorite. This was a Locke-centric episode so all the flash backs were about him. As usual I will give you a brief summary of the opening scene then I will break it down into characters. This week we will deal with "Locke's flashback", "Lock/Charlie's wacky island adventures", "meanwhile back at camp" and the" Desmond/Hurley equation". As usual, click pix for lager view!

Opening Scene



We open on a close up of Locke's eye. This scene is very reminiscent of Jack's introduction in the pilot episode. When Locke looks to the side instead of seeing Vincent the dog he sees a naked Desmond running through the brush. Locke realizes he has lost his voice.



Then Eko's Jesus stick falls from the sky and almost hits Locke smack in the face. Eko is in trouble and Locke knows it!

Locke/Charlie/Eko's Wacky Island Adventures



Locke freaks the Hell out and decides to rip the tarp off a shelter (I hope it was his). Charlie and Claire sees him do this and Charlie decides to find out where he has been. Apparently Locke has been missing for a day. I'm assuming this is the second day after the hatch was destroyed.



Locke tries to mime his way through a conversation with Charlie. I don't know what was more annoying: (A) Locke's miming being about as vague as he could make it or (B) Charlie's really dumb guesses about what Locke was talking about (C) no one is acknowledging that Charlie has a full-on mullet. In the end Charlie figured out that Locke needed to build a sweat lodge so he could "speak to the island."

Locke asks Charlie to "stand guard" after he finally gets a piece of paper and a sharpie to communicate. DUH. Locke eats that nasty crap he gave to Boone way back in the first season and has a cool hallucination. I'm going to try to make this as specific as I can:



First we see Boone in the sweat lodge next to Locke. He tells Locke he will need his wheelchair where they are going.



The next thing we know Locke is in the wheelchair and Boone is pushing him through the Sydney International Airport. Boone tells Locke that he needs to clean up the mess he made and that someone needs his help.



He points to Claire, Charlie and baby Aaron. They are acting like a happy little family standing in line at the ticket counter. Boone says they are safe...for now. Then Locke points to Sun and Jin (they seem to be annoying each other and Sayid (who is in line behind them) touches Jin on the shoulder and points off in the distance. Boone says that Sayid is taking care of them.



Locke notices that Hurley is behind the counter taking tickets and pressing the infamous numbers into the computer.



Locke sees Desmond riding the escalator with two cute flight attendants. Boone tells him that Desmond is helping himself.



Locke and Boone survey the rest of the airport. Locke sees Kate and Sawyer in the security line (Jack is close by but separated from them).


Jack is being frisked by a security person with a metal detector. It is Other: Ben. Boone tells Locke that he can't help them until he cleans up his mess.



Next we see Boone at the top of these really tall escalators. Locke is at the bottom in the wheelchair. He crawls to the steps and rides them up. He crawls off and ends up in a puddle of blood. When he looks up Boone is tore up and covered in blood. Locke finds the Jesus stick and realizes he needs to help Eko. Well DUH! The Jesus stick almost knocked your head off when you woke up in the jungle. Did you really have to have your little acid trip to figure out Eko was the one that needed help. This sort of thing is exactly why Locke infuriates me!



When he realized it is Eko that needs help a polar bear attacks him. He snaps out of it and tells Charlie (now he has his voice back) that he is going to go save Eko from a polar bear. Charlie tells him that he will go too even though he hates him. Locke tells him to stay because people that hang out with him end up getting hurt (amen to that). Charlie tags along anyway and they go in search of the polar bear.



They find the spot where the hatch used to be. It is now a huge crater. It appears that the hatch "imploded" when Desmond through the fail safe. They find a jacked up boar and Locke says that it means the bear is close by. Then the bear chases them. They end up in a quiet clearing and they hear the bear again. Locke acts too quickly (again) and throws a knife in the direction of the noise. It hits metal and we see the metal was Hurley's canteen. Yay! Hurley's back from Othersville!!! Hurley tells them the Kate/Jack/Sawyer/Others story and they send him toward the camp(warning him about the Polar bear at the last minute).



They finally find a creepy cave and Locke goes in by himself. He finds a toy truck and a bunch of bones (there is also a Dharma T-shirt there). Further in he finds Eko all jacked up and bloody! The bear grabs Eko and tries to drag him deeper in the cave but Locke takes a can of hairspray and a lighter and makes a homemade flame thrower. He burns the bears face really bad and takes Eko to Charlie.



Later Charlie goes to find water and Locke apologizes to an unconscious
Eko for being a dick wad last season. Eko wakes up and tells him he can still save Jack/Kate/Sawyer from the Others. He tells Locke, "you are a hunter" and passes out. Locke and Charlie take him back to camp.



We meet two new cast members who help Locke with Eko. I have a feeling we will be seeing more of them! This will sum up in the Back at camp and Hurley sections.

Locke's Flashback



Locke picks up a young hitchhiker (Eddie) on a old highway. It is raining and they ride off in Locke's pick up. It stops raining suddenly. They get pulled over by a police officer who makes Locke show him what is in the bed of the truck. There are tons of guns but Locke has papers for all of them. They are perfectly legal.



Locke takes Eddie home for dinner and we find out Locke has been living on a commune. Everyone seems nice (in that Others kind of way) and Eddie chooses to join "the family" . Some time later Eddie starts asking about this guarded green house where they keep delivering fertilizer. He tells Locke he knows it is a bomb they are building in there and he wants in on it. Locke laughs and says he will ask the leaders about it.

He goes to the greenhouse later and the guard lets him in. It is a little chaotic in there. The leaders are trying to pack up the weed that they are growing! They chastise Locke for bringing that boy to them and they show him a file (turns out Eddie is a cop). Locke had been played yet again. He promises to "take care of it."



The next time we see Locke, he and Eddie are hunting. When Eddie turns his back to Locke, Locke takes aim on him. Eddie freaks for a second and then starts answering Locke's questions. Yes. The feds targeted Locke because they knew he would be the easiest to fool (basically). Locke gets ready to shoot Eddie and Eddie starts to say the exact same things to Locke that Colleen said to Sun last week. It was sort of creepy. "You're not a killer Locke." He tells Locke that he is a farmer not a hunter and then walks away. I don't think Locke shoots him but it was sort of left open to interpretation.

The Hurley/Desmond Equation



Hurley has been left by Locke/Charlie and is freaking out about the Others and the bear. He hears noise and starts to freak. It isn't the bear...it's naked Desmond! He gives Desmond a t-shirt to wear and leads him back to camp. When he mentions Locke/Charlie Desmond says that they are ok because they are going to find Jack/Sawyer/Kate. Hurley tells him that they aren't and that they are going for Eko. Desmond asks, "...what about his big speech?" Hurley thinks the guy is a nutty naked freak!

Meanwhile, back at camp...



Locke/Charlie deliver Eko. Hurley delivers Desmond and the news that the Others have kidnapped Jack/Kate/Sawyer. Then Locke gives a big speech about going to save their people from the Others. Hurley looks a little shocked and then sees Desmond throwing rocks into the ocean.

(whew!)

Questions for you to think about this week:



1) Eddie had on a Geronimo Jackson t-shirt. The only time we have seen Geronimo Jackson mentioned has been in relation to the hatch and on the Hanso Foundation website. Is Eddie an Other or somehow related to Dharma?

2) What exactly happened to Locke/Eko/Desmond between the time the hatch imploded and them waking in the jungle a day later?

3) If the hatch imploded then how the Hell did Desmond (who was underneath it) survive at all? And why is he the only naked one? And what's up with his new found psychic abilities?

4) Who the Hell are these new people? Don't you love it when they introduce new people like they have always been on our minds!?! I feel sorry for Nikki (the girl)! She has on a red/orange shirt and that never goes well on Lost. She's also blond. My advice to her is to stay away from guns! She may bite the big one soon!

5) Does the polar bear have anything to do with the "incident" that happened on the island mentioned in the training movies? There were an awful lot of bones in that cave. Not to mention the toy truck and Dharma t-shirt.

Ok that's it for now! See ya next week!