Friday, October 27, 2006

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
Bye Bye Bitch!!! pt6



What the Hell is going on!?! They chose to eliminate Brooke over Jaeda (or as Amy from ANTpodcast calls her: Masculinda)!!! I don't get it. Masculinda's Tyra shot was good but her Fabio shot sucked some nasty ass! I'm getting ahead of myself...let's just start from the beginning...

We find out that Brooke has missed her Prom to be on the show and now she will be missing her high school graduation. Her mama sent her a tacky gift box full of cheezy graduation crap as a consolation prize. I don't know about all of you but I was happy to skip out on graduation. Brooke: You're not missing anything! The cheezy stuff in the box was a really sweet gesture so props to Brooke's mom!



This week the girls learned how to be sexy. But first Tyra showed up at the house and did her annual photo shoot. For those of you that don't know: Each season Tyra takes the girls and pretends to be a photographer. Her shots are always really nice. They are usually "edgy" black and white beauty shots of the girls. She usually smears Vaseline on them or makes them cry. This time she put these wicked eye contacts on them and had them be all harpie-esque.
Some of the girls rocked. My personal favorites were Eugena, Caridee, Michelle and Amanda.



So back to the sexy! The girls were trained by a drag queen and a burlesque queen in the art of tasteful sexiness. I found most of the girls to just be awkward or slutty. Smellrose kind of rocked the casba once again. Later the girls had to do a table dance/ runway show at this dinner for important fashion people. They felt Smellrose did the best job so she got to do a photo shoot for Seventeen Magazine. She chose Brooke and the twins to go with her and they all got to be photographed.



The photo shoot was all about romance covers! The girls were supposed to be the heroines of the cover and the Hero was going to be...you guessed it...Fabio! Did anyone notice that Fabio is straight up looking old now? It was pretty funny. Most of the girls did ok (except for Eugena, Michelle and Masculinda). I wanted to bust Masculinda in the face most of the evening.



I would like to take a moment to tell you how Mr Jay is the most annoying person ever. Who the Hell does he think he is? I liked him much better when he was just the make up artist on the show. I find his behavior on set to be immature and (frankly) he seems a little learning disabled! His hair has gone way beyond bleached blond...it's so blond it looks blue. Jay: Please stop using a blue or violet toner in your hair! It looks really retarded. You are beginning to look like that creepy next door neighbor lady from Something About Mary!



By the way: Nigel Barker is effing HOT (at any age)!



This panel is one of the most bitchy of the series in my opinion. Masculinda wasn't in the bottom two (first mistake) and when it came down to Brooke vs Michelle, well you just knew Brooke was done for. I felt bad for her. I knew she would never actually win the competition, but she deserved to stay longer than Masculinda.

Now on to the fun stuff:

I wish The CW had posted Tyra's photos, but they didn't. The best photo should be one of those. I guess I'll just make due with what I have. I will have to just judge based on the Fabio shoot.

America's Cover Girl of the Week

Caridee

Caridee finally won this and I think she deserves it. She is probably the most likable person on the show. I wouldn't be surprised if she wins next week too!

Best Photo

Caridee

I'm giving this to her because of her Tyra shot. It was fantastic! This Fabio shot was nice and different from everything she has done till now. If I find the Tyra shot I will replace it (or maybe add it).

Most Improved

Amanda

I think she may end up passing her sister by! This is the second week in a row that Amanda's name was called before Michelle's...the tide may be changing!

Annoying Bitch of the Week

Masculinda


Dear Masculinda:

I can't stand you. Your man shoulders make me barf, but they are nothing compared to your attitude. You need to realize that bitching about your hair is annoying. What's done is done. Move the Hell on...and off my TV.

BFF LYLAS

xoxo
BishopJ


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

dear chanel,
you are a super bitch and i love you. when are you moving to NYC so i can see you?
kisses, your former manager,
megan

Anonymous said...

and by-the-by...i can't believe they got rid of brooke insteaad of whiny- pants mcmanface
meg

Anonymous said...

and i love your head shot...my boy...
meg

Anonymous said...

Your venom knows no bounds. Masculinda is indeed hidious... It is sad- I wouldn't think she were so fugly if she'd just shut the fuck up. Did anyone else see the look on Nigel's face when he realized that Brooke missed her graduation to get kicked off ANTM? He looked sick with unintentinal betrayal. I think She-Ra/Tyra set them up. He would never have hurt anyone like that- well, that's a lie, but he has much better poker face and a soul. That is the real tragedy of last week's episode. They killed Nigel's soul... Love- Elizabeth

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